選擇 只是強者虛構來欺騙弱者的幻影

Yes, here I am, finally want to type out how I felt and what I did recently.
I have been suffering fatigue, both physically and mentally.

最近很容易疲倦，永遠也睡不飽的感覺
十二點才下班，又能期待我多早睡
三點才睡覺似乎已經變成了我的daily routine
皮膚狀況越來越差
想提早睡卻又發現東西還沒準備好


but this is the life I chose, isn't it?
Now that I chose to have two part time jobs, I can't really complained bout it.  
Afterall, I made this decision myself.
I will have to get over with it, and hope I can work until the end of this year.



I am a person who always looks back, well, that's a habit that I can't change.
我喜歡回頭看我以前寫的網誌，看我當時在想什麼
然後就看了一篇我三年前寫的網誌

當時我專三，正在猶豫應該留在台灣唸書還是去英國唸書
而當初我台灣的學校考慮的是＂台科大＂而不是高科大 where I study now
當時我捨不得朋友，想演畢業公演，因此猶豫不決

But it turned out to be desperately disappointed
Things went utterly opposite to what I want it to go.
有的時候 會不會覺得人生很妙
你考慮的再多，再未雨綢繆， 最後的結果跟你當初設想的卻是截然不同
所謂的"計畫趕不上變化" 就是如此吧!
最後雖然真的還是因為兵役的問題我留在台灣
但當初我所放不下的"朋友"
如今有聯絡的又剩幾個了?
我所期望的畢業公演
為了畢業公演鬧的烏煙瘴氣　這我到現在都還記憶猶新
又有多少價值?　美好的回憶嗎？　I do now know the answer


之後，因為家人反對，所以我念了高科大
現在又要因為家人反對，可能研究所也得留高雄
so what should I do?


＂後悔＂

我的人生就是不斷的後悔
回顧過去
後悔當初沒毅然決然的轉學
後悔當初沒有好好把握每個相處的機會
後悔當初沒有堅持去台北念書
後悔當初沒有申請去英國唸半個學期
後悔後悔後悔

最近聽到好多人都去國外唸書了～
我心中的羨慕跟忌妒程度，連我自己都不敢相信


I am already 21.  Time flies, but there are still so many things I want to do
I am afraid that if I don't do it now, I might not have any chance
Unlimited desire, limited time, limited money

Sigh, I don't know.  I feel so lost now
I hate things have to go like this
I don't think I would ever have the chance to go aborad again, at least not in this near future

By and large, I still have many goals waiting for me to accomplish.
"Impossible is nothing"  I doubt